Called, Gifted, and Overlooked
I have had several conversations with women in church that feel underutilized, and personally speaking so do I. Has church ministry become too comfortable with familiarity? Are opportunities being offered only to those already inside the circle?
Recent research from organizations like the Barna Group highlights a significant gap in how women feel in their religious communities: nearly 43% of women feel no emotional support, 23% feel somewhat supported and only 17% feel very supported. 43% is a staggering number. Does this number surprise anyone?
To what extent do you feel emotional support from the people at your church?
While not intentional exclusion, happens when the same women are continually asked to lead, teach, organize, and serve while other women with gifts are never given an opportunity? This naturally happens because leadership naturally goes to the women they already know, trust, or have worked with before. But this can result in women outside the circle beginning to feel invisible and they may stop offering what they have.
Blind Women's Ministry & Cliques
The biggest mistake women’s ministry teams make is not utilizing women outside of the ministry women’s team. When women of the church are excluded from serving at the women’s ministry events this can create a clique, keep women from using their God-giving gifts (1 Peter 4:10), and inadvertently hurt the feelings of some of the women, by overvaluing someone's efforts-dimishing others. When women outside of the women’s ministry team are asked to serve it allows other women to shine and feel utilized.
Let’s talk about the cliques that form in church. Whenever a group of women gathers together smaller groups are bound to form. However when those small groups of people, with shared interests or other features, spend time together and do not recognize that they are excluding others to join them, then this is a problem. Church cliques may cause division, favoritism, and disunity, this is one of many ways Satan works to sabotage the work that is being done. We must accept the fact that women are going to group up and click together, but how can we keep the cliques from harming the ministry?
Remember everyone plays a part. “The way God designed our bodies is a model for understanding our lives together as a church: every part depends on every other part, the parts we mention and the parts we don’t, the parts we see and the parts we don’t. If one part hurts, every other part is involved in the hurt, and in the healing. If one part flourishes, every other part enters in the exuberance.” (1 Corinthians 12:1-3 MSG)
Your voice matters share your story with us
Your calling does not vanish just because someone failed to see it, and your gifts remain precious and purposed. We want to hear from you and hold space for your journey. Have you experienced feeling overlooked in your church or ministry circle? How did you navigate that season? Please leave a comment below to share your own experience, encourage another sister walking through the same valley, or reach out to us directly.
“If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.”― Maya Angelou
This month's blog was a team effort: Thank you very much Kewanna for your words of wisdom.
Comments
I feel emotionally supported by my church to a great extent. My church family has been a source of prayer, encouragement, love, and strength during some of the most challenging seasons of my life. There have been times when I didn’t have the words to express what I was feeling, but knowing that I had people praying for me and standing with me made a tremendous difference.
My faith has taught me that I don't have to carry everything by myself. Sometimes emotional support comes through a prayer, a word of encouragement, a hug, a smile, or simply someone taking the time to listen. My church reminds me that God is always present, even in difficult seasons, and that I am surrounded by people who genuinely care about my well-being. With that being said, there is always room for the church family to grow and improve in how we support one another emotionally, In conclusion, I am grateful for the love, faith, and encouragement I receive from my church. I hope my feedback inspires someone else!
Hi everyone. I posted my response but failed to give my location. I’m from Katy, Texas. I’m so anxious to read the other responses. Great topic sis! 👍🏾
I could talk a lot about this topic.
I have definitely felt on the outside many times. I think one of the hardest times was being a part of leadership. The perception was because I was in leadership I was in the "in group". But even that group had its own clique, which I was on the outside of at the time. It was very confusing and in alot of ways lonely.
At the time, I just kind of went with the flow but I can see how it also plays into how I avoid any leadership roles to this day. I don't know if that's good or bad but it's truth.
I am excited to see what others have to say and just ideas about how to combat this humanly issue together.
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